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Caroline in the City quotes - Caroline in the City Fansite

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S01 E01: Caroline And The Bad Back


Del Cassidy / Eric Lutes

Del

What's the women favorite thing to do?

Richard Karinsky / Malcolm Gets

Richard

Talk.

Del Cassidy / Eric Lutes

Del

No, shop!

Richard Karinsky / Malcolm Gets

Richard

You obviously never worked here.

S01 E02: Caroline And The Mugger


Caroline Duffy / Lea Thompson

Caroline

(about Del) You know, you could try being nicer to him.

Richard Karinsky / Malcolm Gets

Richard

Yeah, and I could watch Tori Spelling play Medea. But life is just too short.

S01 E03: Caroline And The Condom


Annie Spadaro / Amy Pietz

Annie

So, aren't you getting really horny?

Caroline Duffy / Lea Thompson

Caroline

What do you think?

Annie Spadaro / Amy Pietz

Annie

So what do you do?

Caroline Duffy / Lea Thompson

Caroline

What do you think?

Richard Karinsky / Malcolm Gets

Richard

(irritated) Ok, that's it! Look Caroline, that's exactly what we were talking about!!!

Annie Spadaro / Amy Pietz

Annie

You two were talking about...?

Caroline Duffy / Lea Thompson

Caroline

Not what you think!!!

S01 E04: Caroline And The Convict


Caroline Duffy / Lea Thompson

Caroline

(about Annie's bad dates) The sniffer... The guy who wouldn't tell you his name...

Remo / Tom La Grua

Remo

The guy who was the lousy tipper...

Annie Spadaro / Amy Pietz

Annie

He was poor!

Remo / Tom La Grua

Remo

Then eat at home!

S01 E05: Caroline and The Gay Art Show


Richard Karinsky / Malcolm Gets

Richard

Hey Charlie! One of my painting is gonna be on the show!

Charlie / Andy Lauer

Charlie

On Broadway?

Caroline Duffy / Lea Thompson

Caroline

Charlie, how can a painting be in the show on Broadway?

Charlie / Andy Lauer

Charlie

It all starts with the dream...

S01 E06: Caroline and The Folks


Richard Karinsky / Malcolm Gets

Richard

Well, thanks for the company, but I think better just go to bed to sleep off what left of this miserable night.

Annie Spadaro / Amy Pietz

Annie

Richard, it's your birthday, there's still one more thing we have to do...

Richard Karinsky / Malcolm Gets

Richard

I'm not that drunk...

S01 E07: Caroline and the ATM


Richard Karinsky / Malcolm Gets

Richard

(to Del and Annie) Why don't you just leave her alone? Look, Caroline has some standards. Something that you both learned to live without.

Caroline Duffy / Lea Thompson

Caroline

Well, thank you Richard.

Richard Karinsky / Malcolm Gets

Richard

Yeah, of course if you really had standards you wouldn't have done something such disgusting in a first place.

S01 E08: Caroline and The Balloon


Caroline Duffy / Lea Thompson

Caroline

Richard, there is still one rope left...

Richard Karinsky / Malcolm Gets

Richard

Only if it's long enough to go round my neck...

Caroline Duffy / Lea Thompson

Caroline

So, it's 'no'?

Richard Karinsky / Malcolm Gets

Richard

No, it's sarchastic 'no'!

S01 E09: Caroline and The Opera


Richard Karinsky / Malcolm Gets

Richard

So, you're jealous of this guy...

Del Cassidy / Eric Lutes

Del

No! I just don't like the idea of some good looking guy out with my girlfiend.

Richard Karinsky / Malcolm Gets

Richard

I know someone who's getting a dictionary for Christmas.

S01 E10: Caroline and The Xmas Break


Shelly / Lauren Graham

Shelly

Ooo, fruitcake! I love fruitcake!

Annie Spadaro / Amy Pietz

Annie

Well, you are what you eat...

S01 E11: Caroline and The Gift


Annie Spadaro / Amy Pietz

Annie

(to Richard) Hold on! You mean you can paint people that look like people???

Caroline Duffy / Lea Thompson

Caroline

(gives her look)

Annie Spadaro / Amy Pietz

Annie

What? You've seen his paintings...

S01 E12: Caroline and The Watch


Richard Karinsky / Malcolm Gets

Richard

I'm stuck!

Del Cassidy / Eric Lutes

Del

What do you mean?

Richard Karinsky / Malcolm Gets

Richard

I'm stuck. Are you having trouble with "I'm" or "stuck"?

S01 E13: Caroline and The Married Man


Tom

Tom

Yeah, that's great, that's good, because I want this to be more than just a fling.

Caroline Duffy / Lea Thompson

Caroline

Gee, and here I was hoping it'd be cheap and tawdry.

Tom

Tom

Caroline, I'm married.

Caroline Duffy / Lea Thompson

Caroline

Oh, so it is cheap and tawdry!

S01 E14: Caroline and the 28 Pound Walleye


Charlie / Andy Lauer

Charlie

[about their double dates] What do you think, what do you think?

Del Cassidy / Eric Lutes

Del

Charlie, when you said Laura had an old school friend visiting, I assumed it'd be a classmate of hers, not her third grade math teacher!

S01 E15: Caroline and the Bad Date


Richard Karinsky / Malcolm Gets

Richard

So, this guy was buying a sweater in the men's department and you just picked him up? You don't know anything about him.

Caroline Duffy / Lea Thompson

Caroline

I know...stuff about him. He's a large.

Richard Karinsky / Malcolm Gets

Richard

And you're a small. His people will never accept you.

S01 E16: Caroline and The Proposal


Richard Karinsky / Malcolm Gets

Richard

Right. Look, in case you haven't noticed, I'm not exactly a people person. I don't do too well with love. Every relationship that's ever meant anything to me, I've... destroyed, singlehandedly. I have driven them all away. I just don't want that to happen with Caroline. I am not going to take that risk again.

Maddie

Maddie

(pause) Oh, boo hoo hoo! So you're just going to do nothing?

S01 E17: Caroline and The Kid


Del Cassidy / Eric Lutes

Del

You know that thing women are always saying, 'Size doesn't matter!' That's true, right?

Annie Spadaro / Amy Pietz

Annie

Del, give women some credit. Of course size doesn't matter! Unless you're having sex.

S01 E18: Caroline and The Ex-Wife


Pete Spadaro / Adam Ferrara

Pete Spadaro

Look, pop, I don't want to hurt your feelings, but I'm just not cut out for the funeral business.

Lou Spadaro

Lou Spadaro

Then all of a sudden, you're too good for it. Let me tell you something, Petey. I started that business with nothing but a dead body and a dream!

S01 E19: Caroline and The Bridesmaids


Johnny / John Mariano

Johnny

Poverina, you look so upset. You look just like that girl I saw in the movie last night.

Annie Spadaro / Amy Pietz

Annie

Which movie?

Johnny / John Mariano

Johnny

The one with the upset-looking girl in it. But she only had one finger. It starts off in a sawmill-

Annie Spadaro / Amy Pietz

Annie

No, stop. Don't ruin it for me.

S01 E20: Caroline and Richard's Mom


Caroline Duffy / Lea Thompson

Caroline

You're Richard's mother?

Natalie

Natalie

Did he tell you I was dead? Usually he tells everyone I'm dead.

Annie Spadaro / Amy Pietz

Annie

No, he said you lived in Utah.

Natalie

Natalie

Utah? I'd rather be dead!

S01 E21: Caroline and The Cereal


Del Cassidy / Eric Lutes

Del

(about Caroline's cereal) So, what's your gimmick going to be? You know, are you fruity, nutty, crunchy?

Caroline Duffy / Lea Thompson

Caroline

Actually, I think I'm a flake.

Richard Karinsky / Malcolm Gets

Richard

Anyone want that one?

Annie Spadaro / Amy Pietz

Annie

(about Richard) Oh, you're just bummed because they're not making the Richard Karinsky cereal, Not-So-Cheerios.

S01 E22: Caroline and The Movie


Charlie / Andy Lauer

Charlie

So, uh... (reads her name tag) Nan. Is that short for Nancy?

clerk

clerk

(sarcastic) No, it's short for Nanook. I'm an Eskimo.

Charlie / Andy Lauer

Charlie

You don't look it. So, is there a Mr Nan?

S01 E23: Caroline and The Wedding


Caroline Duffy / Lea Thompson

Caroline

(telling her dream) I was getting married, and I was wearing this dress, and that bra, you know the one that cuts me right here.

Angie Spadaro / Candice Azzara

Angie Spadaro

[to Annie] See, she wears a bra - even in her dream!

Caroline Duffy / Lea Thompson

Caroline

Anyway, you were there, and I was about to walk down the aisle when Richard came in, and he gave me a cheque...and he kissed me.

Annie Spadaro / Amy Pietz

Annie

(gasps) Richard?!

Angie Spadaro / Candice Azzara

Angie Spadaro

(gasps) A cheque?!

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