Caroline in the City quotes - Caroline in the City Fansite

What's the women favorite thing to do?

Talk.

No, shop!

You obviously never worked here.

(about Del) You know, you could try being nicer to him.

Yeah, and I could watch Tori Spelling play Medea. But life is just too short.

So, aren't you getting really horny?

What do you think?

So what do you do?

What do you think?

(irritated) Ok, that's it! Look Caroline, that's exactly what we were talking about!!!

You two were talking about...?

Not what you think!!!

(about Annie's bad dates) The sniffer... The guy who wouldn't tell you his name...

The guy who was the lousy tipper...

He was poor!

Then eat at home!

Hey Charlie! One of my painting is gonna be on the show!

On Broadway?

Charlie, how can a painting be in the show on Broadway?

It all starts with the dream...

Well, thanks for the company, but I think better just go to bed to sleep off what left of this miserable night.

Richard, it's your birthday, there's still one more thing we have to do...

I'm not that drunk...

(to Del and Annie) Why don't you just leave her alone? Look, Caroline has some standards. Something that you both learned to live without.

Well, thank you Richard.

Yeah, of course if you really had standards you wouldn't have done something such disgusting in a first place.

Richard, there is still one rope left...

Only if it's long enough to go round my neck...

So, it's 'no'?

No, it's sarchastic 'no'!

So, you're jealous of this guy...

No! I just don't like the idea of some good looking guy out with my girlfiend.

I know someone who's getting a dictionary for Christmas.

Ooo, fruitcake! I love fruitcake!

Well, you are what you eat...

(to Richard) Hold on! You mean you can paint people that look like people???

(gives her look)

What? You've seen his paintings...

I'm stuck!

What do you mean?

I'm stuck. Are you having trouble with "I'm" or "stuck"?

Yeah, that's great, that's good, because I want this to be more than just a fling.

Gee, and here I was hoping it'd be cheap and tawdry.

Caroline, I'm married.

Oh, so it is cheap and tawdry!

[about their double dates] What do you think, what do you think?

Charlie, when you said Laura had an old school friend visiting, I assumed it'd be a classmate of hers, not her third grade math teacher!

So, this guy was buying a sweater in the men's department and you just picked him up? You don't know anything about him.

I know...stuff about him. He's a large.

And you're a small. His people will never accept you.

Right. Look, in case you haven't noticed, I'm not exactly a people person. I don't do too well with love. Every relationship that's ever meant anything to me, I've... destroyed, singlehandedly. I have driven them all away. I just don't want that to happen with Caroline. I am not going to take that risk again.

(pause) Oh, boo hoo hoo! So you're just going to do nothing?

You know that thing women are always saying, 'Size doesn't matter!' That's true, right?

Del, give women some credit. Of course size doesn't matter! Unless you're having sex.

Look, pop, I don't want to hurt your feelings, but I'm just not cut out for the funeral business.

Then all of a sudden, you're too good for it. Let me tell you something, Petey. I started that business with nothing but a dead body and a dream!

Poverina, you look so upset. You look just like that girl I saw in the movie last night.

Which movie?

The one with the upset-looking girl in it. But she only had one finger. It starts off in a sawmill-

No, stop. Don't ruin it for me.

You're Richard's mother?

Did he tell you I was dead? Usually he tells everyone I'm dead.

No, he said you lived in Utah.

Utah? I'd rather be dead!

(about Caroline's cereal) So, what's your gimmick going to be? You know, are you fruity, nutty, crunchy?

Actually, I think I'm a flake.

Anyone want that one?

(about Richard) Oh, you're just bummed because they're not making the Richard Karinsky cereal, Not-So-Cheerios.

So, uh... (reads her name tag) Nan. Is that short for Nancy?

(sarcastic) No, it's short for Nanook. I'm an Eskimo.

You don't look it. So, is there a Mr Nan?

(telling her dream) I was getting married, and I was wearing this dress, and that bra, you know the one that cuts me right here.

[to Annie] See, she wears a bra - even in her dream!

Anyway, you were there, and I was about to walk down the aisle when Richard came in, and he gave me a cheque...and he kissed me.

(gasps) Richard?!

(gasps) A cheque?!