Caroline in the City quotes - Caroline in the City Fansite

Oh hey Caroline look about your office, I need your answer now.

Well fine then, my answer is no.

You know what, sleep on it.

Mr. Mazzone, I...I just don't understand you, I mean, you hated Richard for being involved with Julia and now you hate him because he's not. You just can't win.

Exactly. You know sometimes these things just work out.

You're -- you're bringing a picture of Richard with you? Why...? He's gonna be sitting across the desk from you every day.

Yeah...? Well in the picture, he's smiling.

[examines picture] Wow...! How'd you get him to smile?

You'd be surprised what you can do with a felt pen and an Exacto knife.

So Annie, when are you gonna let me take you out, huh? [waves invitation in front of Annie] Hey, annual Drycleaners Banquet's coming up. Could be the thrill of a lifetime, there's talk of a magician.

Gil, how many times have I been in here?

Well... once a week for six years... 312 times-ish.

Every single one.

Have I ever said 'Yes'?

Not that I remember.

[pats his cheek] Trust me. If I'd said 'Yes', you'd remember.

[uses fake dismembered hand] AHH! AHH!! AHH!!! MY HAND!!!

[deadpan] Eek.

[removes fake hand] You're no fun.

Sure I am. I just keep it all inside.

Ah, there you are, my little stars. So, you ready for the big day?

Yeah. What's this video about? Environmental issues? Literacy? Drugs? What?

It's a no holds barred examination of a topic I feel very close to - female sexuality.

I'm out!

How could you sleep? You are aware that tonight's the night. After three years, we're finally going to...you know...

[suggestively jams pencil in electric sharpener]

Okay, you do know.

[frustrated] I'm sick of this, man! I mean, you spend hours working on color separations and it comes back like this - the brains are green, the guts are gray. Got my man looking like a bag of Skittles... [to Richard] That ever happen to you?

[dryly] We rarely see Caroline's internal organs.

Oh no, she had a paper cut once. I think it was bleeding.

I appear to be wasting my time here.

Oh Richard! Thank god you're back. I have to know -- do you have strong feelings about potatoes?

Yeah, but with the help of a good therapist, I've worked through most of my anger.

Oh, that's wonderful. You're hired.

Really...? You don't wanna hear anything else? I know hundreds of songs.

Oh, fine. But for Richard's Bar Mitzvah party I want you to play nothing but "Lady of Spain".

[reluctant] For two hours...? I'm not sure I can take that.

No, no! You take the first exit after Kingston and then a right at the Texaco station.

No, left. Left at the Texaco station.

How do you know? You don't even know where we're going! [becomes suspicious]

[tries to cover] You always take a left at a Texaco station. Everyone knows that.

Annie? [points to round dining table]

[shouts to Caroline] Lars wants to know if he can lift your table.

Sure, whatever. [Lars lifts the table above his head] You know what? Every time I think we're getting closer, he finds a new way to put distance between us.

[still holding table above head] Is anyone going to time me?

No.

Then I just feel foolish.

[hands bouquet to Caroline] These are for you, here. Read the tag.

[reading] "To Caroline, from Stan".

[with feeling] And I mean it!

[reads book title] "Scandinavia on a Dollar a Day"?

[nods] That's what I'm supposed to be doing with my life. I'm meant to travel. I've saved 200 dollars, I'm going to Scandinavia for 200 days. 300 if I skimp.

[skeptical] Uh, Charlie, you know this book was published in 1961.

But, Scandinavia is still there, isn't it?

Alright... Oh Richard! How do you like Peshtigo?

Oh well, you know, I haven't seen much of it yet. I mean, all we passed was a gas station and a mini-mart.

Oh, well then you've seen the new downtown.

[incredulous] Wait - wait a minute. What are you telling me? Are you telling me YOU were a bully?

Yes. Does that surprise you?

[chuckles] I'm just trying to picture the lame school where you were the bully. [chuckles] Wait a minute, wait a minute, here we go, here we go... [mocking frightened high-pitched voice] Oh no, run! It's the Dimple Gang! Ahh!

[touches Richard's rented suit] What the hell is this suit made out of?

[looks inside jacket] The label says its mostly... soy.

[sees Caroline with bags, becomes alarmed] Where are you going?

Well, I have to go to Peshtigo... [pushes Richard towards Annie] Richard will explain.

[whines] But who's gonna take care of me?

[evil smile] I am, Ann.

Regina Abbott owns the most important gallery in New York. I mean, if she picks me for the show... [hesitant] No, no, I don't -- I don't want to jinx it even by thinking about it.

You'll be a star!

[looks up] She said it, don't take it out on me...!

Richard and I are taking a little break.

Yeah, they had the long term commitment talk last night.

[dismayed] Oh.

What?

[without conviction] Nothing.

Del?

[without conviction] No, no. Good for you. It's about time.

Look, I know what you're thinking, but you and Richard are very different people.

[without conviction] Yeah. Yeah, who knows? Maybe he's the kind of guy that enjoys an ultimatum. He might actually like a gun to his head.

[approaches Mike] So, did you decide yet?

Yeah. Mail the robots right away for his birthday. [Saleswoman takes notes, Mike picks up toy] And then send this light up monster thing at the end of May. He's graduating from... from... What grade are you in when you're ten?

Fourth or fifth.

Better keep the card vague. Just write "Congrats on another great school year."

Randy, Caroline's been hold up in her apartment for weeks. She really needs cheering up and I can't do it anymore, you're the only one who makes her laugh.

Ah, thanks. You know I did hear a good joke the other day...

Not me, her!